“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
― Benjamin Franklin
cha ching
JoinedPosts by cha ching
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25
exJW Psychology 103--Let's Reconsider "Confidentiality"
by Billy the Ex-Bethelite inover the course of decades as a jw, an elder, a bethelite, then learning ttatt and wanting to leave, i'd collected a lot of insight into the power of "confidentiality.
" although the confidentiality in a judicial hearing is supposedly to protect the sinner, in actuality, i saw that it was about control and was protecting the power of the jc.. i didn't use any of this knowledge until i was called before the boe because the other elders figured they had grounds to remove me as an elder.
it was a work situation that only lasted a matter of hours, but it was enough that they seized the moment.
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cha ching
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41
exJW Psychology 101--Keeping Your Cool While Fading
by Billy the Ex-Bethelite inin an effort to get some help and hopefully help others, i'd like to start this thread about psychology, specifically starting with the subject of anger management.. .
personally, i don't have much of a temper.
what i do have, i've learned to control.
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cha ching
After reading many experiences, and looking at my own experiences, I really do think that this "general approach" is the best.. Less detail = less arguing. Human emotion for right and wrong will connect with human emotion..
I found two things they understood clearly. These were that WT policies on education and handling cases of child molestation are wrong...... Perhaps two other things also worth mentioning are that at some moment in our conversation, they stated, "well, the brothers are imperfect, there will be some mistakes." I was waiting for those words and it was my green light to repeat them, "yes, I know very well that they are imperfect, and I cannot pretend that they are perfect." And later repeated them again, "well, the brothers are imperfect, there will be some mistakes. So there's no point in arguing about what is printed in the Watchtower, because it could easily be another mistake and be completely changed in an upcoming article."
.... Also, using their own words and thoughts (because you DO hear "they are just imperfect men" ALLLLL the time) and "there will be some mistakes" (so why do we believe them?) They really can't say A..N..Y..thing..... Otherwise, there IS no excuse, right?
Let THEM be the ones having to explain...
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83
Blown away-- where to go from here
by All for show ini stumbled upon this website a few weeks ago due to the jw.org ridiculousness, since then i haven't been able to pull myself away.
the thoughts, feelings, and concerns i have had the past few years aren't just mine.
it's global.
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cha ching
IF I could go back in time......
I definitely would take the path of some very smart people (Like Billy the Bethelite, I wish I c/find the thread... He asked a simple question... "oh, this guy asked me about kangaroos.." "What did he ask you?" Ah, never mind, it's too dumb..." "How they got from Australia to the ark..." then it goes on to "Then he asks, how did htey git back? etc, etc...
BIlly made the other person intrigued, and the other guy pursued the questioning (while Billy seemed all nonchalant) & who approached subjects from an innocent angle... "I met someone in service (or work, or teacher) who asked me....." then, "I don't know what I should say?"
Ask questions from the "I don't know what to say to them" side... Not "I can't find answers, I've looked everywhere.." or "Do you know what the WT said?"
No, approach it from the "someone asked me in service" that way you look as if you are defending the organization. Making people provide the answers, instead of answering it for them, will help their brains to start the puzzle solving process. It will be their conclusions, not yours.
I also think that having an established network of friends (clubs? sports teams? etc, etc) and acquaintences will help. Missing more meetings will make it easier also... Your brain has more time to think, your body can rest, you get out of "the routine".. I wish I had just 'time to relax' while going to school, instead of "do homework, eat, go to the meeting, go to bed, get up, go to school."
Breathe, just breathe, and smile, and come here and talk to get your ideas out of your head, to give yourself time to just really think!
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10
RBC New Update and new Britain Bethel News
by Da.Furious ini have posted some of this info in a different post but due to the additional information i heard i have decided to put all this under new topic.. rbc update (apparently this information is global):.
rbc will be dissolved on 5 october 2014. majority of departments will be shut down and handed over to bethel (construction, planning, training, it and legal definitely will be gone).
age criteria for the new department is under 50 years old.
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cha ching
Perhaps one of the reasons that they will use "worldly" / outside companies to do the building, is that less JW's will know of the "build and sell and make money" aspect of their operations?
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24
Well, it was a fine week to LEAVE!
by RagingBull in....well, i was going to wait.
go out with a bang!?
i decided (like many others this week!
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cha ching
You cannot grow unless you are willing to change. You will never improve yourself if you cling to what used to be. -Leon Brown
A thousand disappointments in the past cannot equal the power of one positive action right now. Go ahead and go for it.
You can’t just hope for happy endings. You have to believe in them. Then do the work, take the risks. -Nora Roberts.
Don't be scared to cut off jealous, hateful, disrespectful, and disloyal people. You're better off without them.
Saying "I was wrong" is nothing to be ashamed of. It's actually a declaration that you are wiser now than you were before!
When something or someone is no longer bringing you up, but pulling you down—it’s time to let go.
When something or someone is no longer adding to your life, but subtracting from it—it’s time to let go. -Mandy Hale
The only people worthy to be in your life are the ones that help you through the hard times and laugh with you after the hard times pass.
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44
How Often Do You Come To JWN? How Often Do You Post?
by minimus indo you check this site, daily?.
do you post very much?.
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cha ching
Usually every day, in the a.m., my hubby and I check the list.
If there is someone that needs encouragement, or there is a topic or quote that I believe I can use in the future, I post.
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118
School for Congregation Elders
by C.O.B.E.Beef ini attended the school late last year, and it was an emotional and mental rollercoaster for me.
i was already divided in my heart to say the least.
one of the instructors stayed in my home for the week, and my family genuinely enjoyed his company.
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cha ching
LogCon: Haha haha... "idea" / "teaching" ?
Yay!!! I can't remember any more!!
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118
School for Congregation Elders
by C.O.B.E.Beef ini attended the school late last year, and it was an emotional and mental rollercoaster for me.
i was already divided in my heart to say the least.
one of the instructors stayed in my home for the week, and my family genuinely enjoyed his company.
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cha ching
"How does it feel to be the only people on the planet who can never be wrong?"
"And don't we love this new teaching!"
Ummmm.... if you haven't started clapping, now is the time....
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38
Reverse Shunning
by exwhyzee insometing happened yesterday that i thought might be noteworty enough to relate to you here.. mrs. eyz and i were invited to my new boss's home for his annual end of summer party.
it's a pretty big deal....his is a name known locally (i'll call him j.r.) a really nice interesting guy who's held a number of high level and politically connected jobs.
there was to be music, dancing, wine and reprotedly lots of well dressed, well educated, well to do and influential people (oh yes...and us) in attendance.. anyway we thought we'd make an occasion out of it and got ourselves spiffed up which involved new outfits and extra mirror time before we left home.
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cha ching
I have been going thru this same subject in my mind every day...
"What will I say?" "What should I say?"
I like your idea, and the fact that you rehearsed it so that it would be seamless. When I am caught off guard, I tend to get a bit dramatic...
I want to be logical, in control, happy, decisive. I want to walk away and feel as if I did the best thing possible, I want to prick their conscience if they have any soul or humanity left.
Thx for your post, it really does do a lot of good to help others to "explore new ideas, to go above and beyond"
cha ching!
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16
Like Button
by Coded Logic ini read through the suggestion box and haven't seen anyone recomend this yet: is it possilbe to add a "like" button for posts and comments?
maybe something that keeps count of them like on youtube.
i think it would be a great tool to let people know we appreciate their comments.. i know we have the thumbs up icon we can paste in our comments but its hard to "like" someones elses comment when the thread is already 30 comments deep.. (feel free to thumbs up if this is a feature you'd like to see).
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